Considering we are all are or have been hard-working members of the workforce, I thought it would be cool to share our amusing/horrific stories. I worked at a certain video store in the area, and I've got a few to share. (For reasons that *may* or may *not* have been in my contract, I'm not allowed to describe exactly where I worked publically. Let's just say it rhymes with Wockwuster Wideo)
This one happened in the first week of my tenure at (name of institution rhyming with Dockduster omitted). I'm running the register, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. This guy comes in with a paper bag filled with DVDs. He states the following: He has 35 copies of the movie "Jaws" in the bag. He says that they were birthday gifts, and we would like to exchange them for their full value in cash. Now, I'm no expert at this point, but I notice the following:
1) Frockfruster doesn't take opened electronics back. I'm not aware of anywhere that does.
2) The guy has no recipts
3) There is no Barcode on any of the DVDs, nor any evidence of their ever having been one (those stickers are hard to peel off completely)
4) The "Jaws" cover on each of the DVDs is obviously printed out on computer paper. In black and white.
5) The discs themselves have no cover art, instead they are boldly emblazoned with the words "CD R/W"
6) The guy expects us to believe that 35 seperate friends got him the same movie for his bithday!
Nick: I'm sorry, sir. We can't take these. You have no recipt, there isn't any barcode on the case, and the cover art is not industry standard.
Stupid Con Man: What do you mean? Are you accusing me of something?
(remember your corporate brainwashing, Nick. You are not allowed to be sarcastic with the customers)
Nick: Sir, you have to see how unusual this is-
Stupid Con Man: (god help me, he actually says this) For your information I printed these out PHOTO QUALITY!
Stupid Con Man leaves in a huff. Nick supresses the incredible urge to launch a sarcastic farewell after him. I report it to the manager on duty. He tells me to call the other local establishments, and give them a heads-up. These giys will usually try their scam at a different store if they get found out here. I call mammoth, paradise, the works. We all have a hearty laugh at the guy's expense. About three hours later, my shift is done, and I'm heading home for the day. I say farewell to the gang and head out. The timing is perfect. As I start to walk out the left door, Bobo the failure of crime walks in the right. He's pissed, he recognizes me.
Stupid Con Man: "WHAT DID YOU TELL THEM?!"
Nick: (urge... to... be... sarcastic... rising!)
Nick's Manager: (Glances over, makes eye contact with Nick. The hint of a smile appears, and he gives the smallest of nods.)
Nick: (Joy! I take one single step, so I am outside the building, and therefore not technically an employee of Pockpuster) Well, Professor Moriarty, I told them that there was a con artist trying to return 35 home-made copies of "Jaws" going around, and they'd better keep an eye open.
I walk away, laughing. I found out later from the manager that this guy was a regular con, and not all that stable mentally. Evidently he'd do things like rent movies, then storm in a minute later, claiming we had stolen them. They'd been trying to discourage him from coming back, and evidently my little remark had done the job nicely. My manager never speaks of the incident again, but the next time we both worked the closing shift, the pizza was on him. I'm normally the nicest of guys, but my family will tell you I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood. More tales from Clockcluster to come. Meanwhile, share your own stories of stupid customers, stupid criminals, or customers so stupid they should be considered criminals.